We want to break the taboo around talking about sex and disability. Everyone, no matter what their disability or health condition, should be able to enjoy sex and pleasure. Thatβs why weβre publishing a series of sex stories from people with different disabilities talking openly about their experiences.
This week, weβre sharing the second of a two-part story about how approaching your sex life differently if you’re blind – or have any other disability – could make it even more amazing.
Read the first part of this story – being blind doesnβt mean I canβt enjoy sex.
Iβm Jayne Harrison and despite being almost totally blind since birth, I have the most wonderful sex life with my husband, Chris.
The elephant in that sentence is, of course, the word βdespiteβ. SighteSpice up your sex life: top toys and positions for disabled peopled people would argue that for great sex you need to be able to see. Most of society assumes that because of my visual impairment, Iβm not allowed to have a sex life.
Indeed, some people might tell me that somehow itβs weird for a woman with my condition to be sexually aware. If they ever did, Iβd tell them that they are completely wrong. Our sex life is different in some ways, but then who wants to be routine? I never have done and I never will.
I may not have my sight, but I have all my other senses and I use them to the full when Chris and I are in bed (or on the living-room floor, in the kitchen, in the bathroom or wherever else takes our fancy!).
And my touch, taste, smell and hearing play a bigger role in my sex life than they may do in the lives of sighted people. Hereβs how.
Using all of my other senses
In the first part of this story, I alluded to Chris being extremely well-built down below (I think itβs something to do with being a rugby player!). One of our favourite things is for me to unzip his trousers, plunge my hand into his pants and feel his cock grow to what seems enormous proportions.
I canβt see it but I can certainly feel it, and he tells me how much he loves how I masturbate him to full erection then start to perform oral sex on him, sucking, kissing and licking until he cums.
Chris also loves it when I suck a boiled sweet while performing on him. It sends him into ecstasy and gives his cum the most amazing taste β ladies, you should definitely try it sometime.
Last time, I also mentioned my pierced nipple. Rolling my fingers around it while Chris (or probably both of us) masturbate is the most amazing feeling. Itβs one of the quickest ways I know to bring myself to orgasm.
I also love the feeling of Chris licking his tongue around it or sometimes rubbing it with his penis. How many other couples have that manoeuvre as part of their sexual repertoire, I wonder?
Touch is also important in other areas, not just when I masturbate Chris. I have no idea how other women feel when they play with themselves, but I very rarely have a feeling of anything other than electric sparks going through me.
This is especially that case when I have one hand on my pierced nipple and the other enthusiastically exploring my clit!
And we love the feeling of touching each otherβs naked bodies all over. PIV sex (penis in vagina) doesnβt have to come into it.
We can just lie next to each other, stroking and sometimes spanking each other with our varied collection of dildos, vibrators, strokers, paddles or feathers. The sensation of a vibrator buzzing away on my nipple or a paddle on my bum is amazing!
And I love how I can smell Chris as soon as he walks into a room, whether it be the smell he exudes when he comes back after 80 minutes of exertion on a rugby field, or the smell of his manly perfume as we are just preparing to go out for an evening.
Sometimes, I persuade him not to jump straight into the shower at the club after a game but come straight home. It means I can strip his kit off and enjoy that smell as I lay my head on his naked chest before we go upstairs to shower together β heaven!
Your mind is an important sexual organ
Itβs often said that the brain is the most important sexual organ. Thatβs really true for us because both Chris and I have imaginations that can work wonders (you noticed?).
Erotica is really important for us. Rarely does a week go by when we donβt spend an evening curled up naked on the sofa with a good collection of erotic short stories.
You should see our bookshelves; itβs a good job we donβt use them as a background for too many Zoom calls!.
Weβve found a website that specializes in producing erotica for people who prefer or need audiobooks, and I have a specialist MP3 player on which we can listen together.
Alternatively, if Iβm in the mood for a little self-pleasure while I listen, Chris reads to me and Iβ¦β¦well, there are a number of things I get up to, but you can use your imagination, canβt you?
I guess what Iβm saying is that if you use a little imagination, think outside the box and expand your opinion of what sex can and should be, anything is possible.
A friend of ours gave us a surprising Christmas present last year β a list of 75 ways to have sex that donβt include penetration. Some of them arenβt for us, but weβve tried and enjoyed plenty of them in recent months.
Bringing new ideas into your sex life is something that not enough people do. Because weβve had to think differently about sex throughout our relationship, weβre used to it and itβs something we highly recommend. I hope Iβve given you a few ideas to try out yourself!
By Jayne Harrison
Read the first part of Jayne’s sex story – being blind doesnβt mean I canβt enjoy sex.
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