Dating can seriously knock anyone’s confidence. But this can be particularly true if you’re disabled and unhappy with who you are. To help you restore yours, Meet Disabled Singles shares the experience of one of its daters, who was newly disabled when she joined the site. Read on for helpful tips and suggestions to help you fall back in love with yourself, and someone else.
People don’t understand what it’s really like to live with a disability until it happens to them. Generally speaking, so many of us are unaware of how valuable good health actually is until we have to face living a different kind of lifestyle than we’re used to.
Coming to terms with the fact you’re no longer able to do the things you love, and the things that feed your soul, is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever have to do. Once you accept the fact you’re now disabled, you can begin to restore your self-confidence, especially when it comes to dating.
At least that’s how it is for me. Disabled singles dating is just as challenging as any other niche-specific dating. But with it, you have to be extra resilient and patient if you want to meet the kind of person who will love you for who you really are, and who is special enough to share your life with.
Below I explain how I restored my dating confidence after finding myself disabled and unable to enjoy the kind of lifestyle that once made me happy.
1. Watched motivational videos
Even before I was disabled, I found motivational videos really helpful. No matter what the source of my blues was, I’d always somehow emerge feeling much stronger and better prepared to tackle whatever problem was in front of me.
Putting yourself out there is tough, especially when there is a specific object of affection you can’t get out of your head. There is no easy way around this. You simply have to build your self-confidence on a daily basis to rise up to the challenge once it’s in front of you.
The channels I really like are Wheels no Heels, Annie Elaine, Jessica Out of the Closet, and Robyn Lambird. I also find these to be widely popular in the disabled community.
Hopefully, they can help you the same way they helped me – to forgive yourself and live life like every day could be your last.
2. Talked to a therapist
I have a friend who’s a psychologist and who always keeps reminding me that therapy works best if you’re still sane enough to fully comprehend your problems. In other words, you should seek professional help as soon as you notice your mental health deteriorating or if you feel you’re falling deep into depression.
Struggling with your problems on your own is seldom a good idea. If you don’t have close friends or family members who are disabled, they won’t be of much help. So I still see my therapist once every couple of months just to check in and make sure I don’t fall off the rails.
I suggest you find a professional who can break down all of your issues for you, and help you deal with them one by one. This is a lengthy process, but I assure you it will leave you wondering what took you so long to get professional help.
A therapist won’t help you get a date, obviously, but they can coach you and arm you with the right kinds of tools to get one yourself.
3. Meditated every chance I get
Meditation helps me tremendously. It allows me to get out of my head and focus on the present, instead of always worrying about the perception other people have of me. Seizing the moment and appreciating what you have is the most liberating thing you can do for yourself.
I firmly believe that you can only be happy if you appreciate the little things that make up your life. It doesn’t matter whether you’re rich or poor, non-disabled or disabled, white or a person of colour, or whatever other categories that discriminate people.
Meditation helps me stay on the right track, not worrying about the future and letting go of the past. This particular moment is all we have, and learning to appreciate it will grow your confidence and prepare you for opening up to people.
Without a doubt, happiness comes from within, which is why you need to focus on self-development to find happiness as a newly disabled person. Only when I found my inner-most happiness was I prepared to share my life with another person.
By Meet Disabled Singles
More on Disability Horizons…
- How to turn your online match into a real-life date
- 4 tips for getting back to dating after becoming disabled
- 5 tips for keeping a positive mindset while dating with a disability
Hi – thank you for the encouraging article re dating with a disability.
A couple of points…….a) why do I need to forgive myself as mentioned in number 1?
b) finding a professional therapist to help you
mentally cope with being disabled and to help you love yourself is just not possible for many because of the cost. On the NHS you’re provided with the maximum of 6 sessions (well, that’s how it works where I live).
The most useful part of the article, in my opinion, was the encouragement to meditate – something I wish was taught at schools!
Lorna.