No relationship is without its problems, and it’s only normal to have ups and downs, especially when you’ve made a long-term commitment. When it comes to disabled dating, things can be more complicated. It might be that you sometimes fake feeling well when you’re actually pretty lousy. Or maybe your partner isn’t always as empathic as he or she should be. Whatever the situation is, Disabled Match Making shares 5 ways you can ensure your relationship can weather any storm life or your disability brings.
Share your feelings and concerns
Any disability can have a significant emotional impact on a person. But this can particularly be the case if their partner is able-bodied and cannot fully relate to what they’re going through.
It’s perfectly normal for you to worry that your disability is having an effect on your relationship, or that you’re a burden to your partner. You’re not alone in that.
It’s important that you share your thoughts or concerns with your partner, whatever they may be. Try not to let them eat away at you or consumer you. That could lead to emotional as well as physical problems.
Be aware of the emotional effects on your partner
The additional responsibilities that come with living with or dating a disabled person might overwhelm your partner at times. This too is completely normal.
They may also experience feelings of guilt because they can’t help you as much as they’d like. Both can cause them to feel frustrated, helpless and sometimes impatient.
Whatever troubles them, you shouldn’t judge your partner for how they feel – let them also talk openly. Consider talking to a therapist, either as a couple or on their own, to help explore these feelings and move forward.
Talk about your finances
As well as the emotional effects of a disability, it is likely to have an impact on your finances. Medical bills, adaptations to your home and disability equipment aren’t cheap.
You also may not be able to work full-time or continuously for extended periods, which may mean that your partner has to keep working to support both of you.
Two people living on a single income can be stressful on its own. But it also means that your partner might not be able to easily leave their post if they’re unhappy.
Instead of worrying about money all the time, talk to a financial advisor and seek advice that can help your situation. Keeping the communication channels open at all times is paramount – neither of you should fret on your own.
Be intimate in whatever way you can
A disability or health condition can alter how you have sex or are intimate. It might also mean that you have body-image concerns or lack confidence. But neither of these mean that you can’t enjoy a sex life, whatever that looks like for you.
Never being intimate could lead to your partner feeling frustrated, or even depressed. The same goes for you. So being close with your life partner is important.
Share with them what’s going through your mind and what you would like to be able to do. You can then together work out solutions and experiment to find out what works for you. There is a lot of adaptive equipment out there that can assist. Include a doctor in the conversation if you need reassurance that sex will be safe.
But most of all, keep in mind that intimacy is much more than merely having sex, and you shouldn’t miss out on it.
Find things to do together
No relationship can survive if you can’t both adapt to a situation and each other. Whether we’re able-bodied or differently-abled, our life circumstances are constantly changing.
To help you both come through tough times, find new activities to enjoy with your partner to help ensure your relationship succeeds. This can mean anything from staying at home and watching a movie to taking up a hobby together. It doesn’t matter – it’s about spending quality time in each others’ company.
Don’t give up
Even when you’re feeling down, depressed, or in pain, or pretty much ready to give up on everything, be assured that better days will be around the corner.
By Disabled Match Making
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