Sad as it is, death and dying is a part of life that someday we will all have to deal with – and indeed, something that we will all go through in the end. When someone you know dies it can be an all-too-real reminder of your own mortality, as well as sad to think that you won’t ever spend time with them again.
Coping with Death and Bereavement: A Real Conversation About Loss
Key Takeaways
| Topic | Summary |
|---|---|
| Grief is natural | Feeling overwhelmed, numb, or even distant after a death is part of how many people experience loss. |
| Talking helps | Speaking with friends, family, or a counsellor can give space to process things. |
| Keep moving | Maintaining your daily routine and hobbies can gently ease you back into everyday life. |
| Specialist support is out there | Bereavement services exist for different kinds of loss and can offer practical and emotional help. |
| Death affects professionals too | People in social care, healthcare, and support roles often feel grief from deaths they witness, even when the person wasn’t a loved one. |
Everyone’s Grief is Different
Sad as it is, death and dying are part of life that we will all face. When someone you know dies, it’s often a powerful reminder that time is finite—and that your connection with that person has come to an end.
Even if the person wasn’t a close friend or relative, grief can hit unexpectedly. Maybe you hadn’t spoken in years, or only knew them through others. That doesn’t make your feelings any less real.
For people working in care jobs, medical settings or support roles, witnessing death can have its own emotional weight. Just because you weren’t related to the person doesn’t mean their death won’t affect you.
Let Yourself Feel What You Feel
Grief isn’t neat or predictable. You might feel sadness, guilt, numbness, or even relief if the person had been suffering. All of these are valid.
Trying to ‘stay strong’ or push your emotions aside can delay healing. Letting yourself cry, talk, or simply sit with the feelings—especially with someone who listens without judgement—can help more than you think.
Who Can You Talk To?
A trained bereavement counsellor can offer time and emotional room to talk through your loss, especially when family or friends might not be sure what to say. You’re under no pressure to put on a brave face or reassure others. It’s okay to just say, “I’m not doing great.”
Even if the deceased wasn’t especially close to you, an unexpected death can often feel traumatic even if you haven’t seen someone in a long time or the link between you is tenuous. For those in social work jobs, care jobs and medical jobs, even being involved in the death of someone you don’t know at all can take its toll.
One of the most important steps to help in coping with death or bereavement is to talk about it; whether that’s with your friends, members of your family or a trained bereavement counsellor.
A counsellor might be able to give you the time and space to talk about your loss in a way that might be tough to ask of your friends and family – and as it’s someone you don’t know, you’ll find less pressure to keep a proverbial stiff upper lip, which might prevent you from fully exploring your feelings.
If you’re not ready for counselling, even small conversations with someone you trust can help you feel less alone.
Another modern approach some people are using to remember loved ones is incorporating technology into memorial practices. For example, QR Codes on gravestones allow visitors to access digital tributes, photo galleries, and even virtual guestbooks by simply scanning the code with a phone. This adds a personal and interactive element to remembrance, preserving memories and stories for future generations in a way that’s easily accessible.
Keep Life Going, Gently
It might feel impossible, but getting outside or doing something familiar can sometimes help you feel more like yourself. That doesn’t mean pretending everything’s fine—it just means staying connected to the parts of life that still matter to you.
Gardening, reading, listening to music, cooking, or chatting with a neighbour can act as quiet forms of support. You don’t have to make big changes—just don’t shut the world out for too long.
When Grief Affects Daily Life
If your mood hasn’t lifted over time—or if your sleep, appetite or energy levels have really changed—it’s worth checking in with your GP. Long-term grief can turn into depression, and there’s no shame in asking for medical help.
Some people find medication useful to get through the toughest periods. Others benefit from regular counselling or structured support groups.
Support Beyond Friends and Family
There are practical and emotional supports you may not know about. Services such as:
- Samaritans – Available 24/7 for anyone in emotional distress.
- Cruse Bereavement Support – Offers free guidance, helplines, and local grief groups.
- Widowed and Young (WAY) – Specifically for people under 50 who’ve lost a partner.
- The Compassionate Friends – Run by parents who’ve lost children.
- Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) – Peer support for people affected by suicide loss.
These organisations understand the layers of grief and can provide the right kind of help—whether it’s filling in paperwork or talking about things years later.
When You’re Supporting Someone Else
If you’re supporting a friend, colleague or client who’s grieving, listen more than you speak. Offer practical help—a cooked meal, a ride to an appointment, or just your presence.
Avoid saying things like “they’re in a better place” or “everything happens for a reason”—these might be meant kindly but can feel hollow. A simple “I’m really sorry you’re going through this” is more honest and comforting.
Death as Part of Working Life
For social workers, carers, or anyone in a support role, witnessing death isn’t just ‘part of the job.’ You might carry feelings from one person’s passing to the next. It helps to debrief with colleagues, take regular breaks, and use reflective supervision when it’s available.
If you’ve been impacted by deaths in your professional life, that’s not a weakness—it’s a sign you care.
Updated Resources and Support for Bereavement in the Disability Community
Grief is deeply personal and often more complex for disabled individuals, especially when existing health, communication, or social barriers make traditional bereavement support less accessible. In addition to the heartfelt reflections shared in the original post, it’s essential to highlight inclusive tools and expert-backed strategies that can offer relief during such difficult times.
Inclusive Bereavement Counselling Options
Many mainstream services now offer virtual and accessible bereavement support, including organisations like Cruse Bereavement Support and Samaritans. These services increasingly cater to disabled people with options such as text-based support, sign language interpreters, and tailored advice for carers.
Assistive Tools to Help With Emotional Recovery
Using sensory aids or communication devices can significantly help someone process grief, especially for people with cognitive or communication impairments. Products like the Trabasack Mini Lap Desk Bag can serve as a comforting personal space for journaling, holding sentimental objects, or using AAC devices during therapy.
Expert Insights on Grief in the Disability Community
Supporting Grief in People with Learning Disabilities
Loss and grief are universal human experiences, but people with learning disabilities often face unique challenges when coping with bereavement. Their grief experiences can be complicated by communication difficulties, limited understanding of death concepts, and most significantly, by how others respond to their grief.
Understanding Disenfranchised Grief
When a person with learning disabilities is excluded from conversations about death and does not receive the support or practical interventions they need to help them come to terms with the death, they may experience ‘disenfranchised grief‘. This occurs when someone’s grief is not recognized or supported.
Research demonstrates that people with learning disabilities are at significantly higher risk of having their grief unacknowledged or minimized. This can lead to:
- Poor mental health outcomes
- Behavioral changes that may be misinterpreted
- Prolonged grieving processes
- Secondary losses (such as changes in living arrangements following the death of a caregiver)
Barriers to Grief Support
People with learning disabilities face multiple barriers when grieving:
- Protection from truth – Well-meaning caregivers may try to “protect” individuals by withholding information about death
- Communication challenges – Difficulties expressing grief can lead others to assume they aren’t affected
- Lack of inclusion – Exclusion from funeral rituals and memorial practices
- Limited recognition – Grief reactions may be misattributed to their disability rather than recognized as a natural response to loss
- Insufficient resources – Specialized bereavement support services for people with learning disabilities remain scarce
Best Practices for Supporting Grief
Evidence-based approaches to supporting people with learning disabilities through grief include:
- Clear, concrete communication – Using direct, honest language appropriate to the person’s level of understanding
- Inclusion in rituals – Supporting participation in funerals and memorials with preparation and support
- Visual supports – Using pictures, symbols, and other visual aids to explain death and express feelings
- Recognition of grief indicators – Being alert to both typical and atypical expressions of grief
- Consistent support – Providing ongoing opportunities to discuss the deceased and express feelings
- Adapted therapeutic approaches – Specialised grief counselling that accommodates different communication styles and cognitive abilities
The Importance of Proactive Support
Recent research emphasises the need for proactive rather than reactive bereavement support. This includes:
- Education about death and dying before a loss occurs
- Training for support staff and family members
- Development of personalised bereavement plans
- Regular monitoring of well-being following bereavement
- Long-term support that recognises grief doesn’t follow a predictable timeline
Resources for Further Support
- AtaLoss.org – Learning Disabilities and Bereavement Resources
- Brake – Supporting Bereaved People with Learning Disabilities
- Grief Support Packet for People with Learning Disabilities
- University of Bristol – Improving Bereavement Access
- New UK Centre for Changing Public Attitudes Towards Grief
Steps for Supporting Yourself or a Loved One
- Identify trusted support people (family, friends, carers).
- Use accessible bereavement services and local peer support groups.
- Make space for personal grieving rituals, such as memory boxes or visual storytelling tools.
- Access mental health support with disability-competent professionals.
