Flat cartoon illustration of a carer calmly putting on their own oxygen mask before assisting another person, echoing airplane safety advice. Two simplified, friendly characters — one caring adult and one older person — in a warm beige background. Soft, rounded shapes, minimal facial detail, and gentle body language showing care and calm. Include a subtle heart or care symbol between them.
Wellbeing & Fitness

Are You Experiencing Carer Burnout? Know the Signs & What to Do

Photo of Duncan Edwards

Like the safety advice on a plane — put on your own oxygen mask first — carers need to prioritise their own wellbeing. You don’t have to be perfectly fit or endlessly upbeat. But being well enough, emotionally and physically, to offer care in a way that’s positive and sustainable really does matter.

Feeling drained, snappy, or on autopilot can signal carer burnout. It shows up in the body, mood, and daily habits, and it rarely fixes itself without changes.

It’s easy to push yourself for too long — especially when someone else depends on you — but that isn’t good for you or the person you’re supporting.

What Is Carer Burnout?

Caring is something most people do at some point in their lives — for a partner, parent, child, or friend. It’s something we often step into instinctively, because we want to. It is a meaningful and valued part of life.

While caring often comes naturally, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Over time, the ongoing effort — whether physical, emotional, or practical — can build up. When carers don’t have enough support or space to look after their own wellbeing, it can start to take a toll.

This is what’s known as carer burnout — a state of physical and emotional fatigue that can creep in gradually. You might feel constantly drained, detached from things you used to enjoy, or like you’re just going through the motions. Some carers describe it as feeling like they’ve “lost themselves” in the role.

Burnout happens when you’ve been under pressure for too long without enough time to rest, recover, or care for yourself.

It can affect anyone, including carers who are disabled themselves, or who are juggling other responsibilities like jobs, parenting, or managing their own health.

Signs You Might Be Burning Out

You don’t have to feel all of these things to be burnt out — sometimes just one or two signs are enough to tell you that something needs to change.

  • Constant fatigue that sleep does not fix, with low energy all day
  • Sleep swings, like insomnia or oversleeping due to stress
  • Aches, headaches, gut issues, or getting sick more often
  • Changes in appetite or weight, and tense muscles
  • Irritability, anxiety, low mood, or feeling numb
  • Losing interest in hobbies and withdrawing from friends
  • Trouble focusing, forgetfulness, and low motivation
  • Neglecting health needs or skipping personal time
  • Feeling trapped, resentful, or overwhelmed by caring duties

Ask yourself:

  • Do energy levels stay low most days?
  • Is patience much shorter than usual?
  • Have social plans stopped?
  • Are basic self-care tasks slipping?
  • Are headaches, stomach issues, or colds more frequent?

Why Carer Burnout Is So Common (and So Hidden)

Many people don’t identify as “carers” at all. They’re just doing what needs to be done as a parent, partner, sibling, or friend. And while that instinct is human, the invisibility of unpaid or informal care often means people are left to carry a huge load without recognition or rest.

When stepping into a caring role isn’t really a choice — when it happens out of necessity, without time, preparation, or support — it can feel much heavier. Without proper support, the emotional and practical demands can pile up:

  • Blurred boundaries – especially when you’re caring for someone you live with
  • Isolation – it can feel like no one around you really gets it
  • Guilt – for wanting time off, for asking for help, or for not “doing enough”
  • Exhaustion from the system itself – managing social care, benefits, or equipment often feels like a full-time job

A 2024 report by Carers UK found that 62% of current and former unpaid carers felt they had no choice in taking on their caring responsibilities, often because there were no other options available. That figure represents around 10 million people in the UK. When caring isn’t freely chosen — and when it comes without adequate support — the risk of burnout increases significantly.

The same report, No Choice But to Care, highlights that caring under pressure can lead to serious consequences: 63% reported a negative impact on their mental health, and 53% on their physical health, with additional effects on employment and finances. For carers who are disabled themselves, that pressure is even more complex — they’re often managing their own support needs while meeting someone else’s.

You can read the full No Choice But to Care report via Carers UK.

Real Stories from Carers

From physical exhaustion to emotional conflict, here’s what real carers say burnout feels like. Reddit’s r/CaregiverSupport community reveals the raw reality — these stories show you’re not alone.

Young Adult Caregivers

A 27-year-old caring for her sister since age 20 describes feeling “utterly exhausted” and yearning to “reclaim my own life,” dreaming of simple pleasures like sleeping in, socializing, and taking vacations without constant worry.

Another 21-year-old caring for a severely disabled parent describes the daily cycle of helping with basic needs like getting out of bed, using the bathroom, and feeding, saying “There are days when the thought of waking up is daunting.”

Emotional Complexity and Guilt

Many caregivers describe the internal conflict between love and exhaustion. One Reddit user caring for their mother shared: “I truly love my mom, but I can’t deny that she sometimes gets on my nerves. What pains me the most are the things I’ve said during moments of extreme burnout. That wasn’t the real me; it was my fatigue talking.” This post received 177 upvotes and 69 comments, showing how relatable this struggle is.

Physical and Mental Health Impact

The physical toll is severe. One caregiver describes developing “a slipped disc in both my mid and lower back,” strained neck ligaments, and chronic arthritis after 15 years of caregiving. Mental health consequences include “high anxiety, sleep disturbances, PTSD, depression.”

Another person became so sleep-deprived from worry about fire evacuation that they contemplated suicide, describing finding themselves “in a van, contemplating driving off a cliff.”

Long-term Caregiving Reality

A caregiver in their 30s who has been caring for parents for over ten years writes: “My aspirations and dreams for my own life feel like they’ve faded away. It seems like my motivation to pursue anything for myself is gradually diminishing.”

Recovery and Hope

Some caregivers share recovery experiences after their caregiving ended. One person who was an unofficial live-in caregiver for nine years described being “beyond burnt out, underweight and anemic” but noted that after a year of recovery, they feel “like my brain is working the way it used to again.”

What You Can Do This Week

The idea of “self-care” can feel unrealistic when you’re stretched thin. When you’re caring for someone else, when things get really intense, even thinking of taking time out for yourself can feel like a luxury — let alone actually finding time to socialise or relax.

But looking after your own wellbeing doesn’t have to be time-consuming or indulgent. It’s about finding small, manageable ways to protect your energy — and knowing that support shouldn’t rest entirely on your shoulders.

Say It, Don’t Hide It

Caring can be exhausting — and admitting that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re being honest, and that honesty matters.

“I’m worn out.”
“I can’t keep doing this without support.”
“I need a break, but I don’t know how to get one.”

Naming what’s happening gives you permission to take the next step — whether that’s rest, asking for help, or just talking things through with someone who gets it. Even when practical help is available, it’s not always easy to ask for it. Guilt, pride, or fear of losing control can all get in the way.

Needing support doesn’t mean you’re failing — as humans we all need help from others.

You could start with:

  • A friend or family member – especially someone who’s offered help before. Be specific: “Could you sit with Mum for an hour so I can go out?”
  • Your GP – they can refer you to carer support services, counselling, or check in on your physical and mental health.
  • A local carers organisation – many offer peer support groups, respite coordination, or advice on benefits. Try Carers UK’s local finder.

Three Small Actions You Can Take

Infographic titled "How to manage caregiver stress?" showing three options with icons and text. Left: "Delegate Task – Frees up time and reduces workload by assigning tasks to others" (blue icon of person with a bag). Center: "Take a Reset – Provides a short break to rejuvenate and clear the mind" (green icon of a person meditating). Right: "Connect with Support – Offers emotional support and understanding from peers" (orange icon of three people in a circle). Each option has a hand icon pointing to it from below.

  • Hand over one task. It might be shopping, admin, or making a phone call. Think about what someone else could realistically do, and ask for that specific thing.
  • Try a 5–10 minute reset. A short walk, deep breathing, sitting quietly with your eyes closed — whatever’s accessible. The point is simply to pause.
  • Connect with someone who gets it. Join an online or in-person carer support group. Not for advice, necessarily — just to be heard by people who understand the terrain.

Get a Carer’s Assessment

If you haven’t had one recently — or ever — request a carer’s assessment from your local council. It’s a legal right in the UK, even if the person you care for refuses help. It could lead to practical solutions like respite care, equipment, or counselling.

Find out how to request one via Carers UK.

Find Your People

Lived Experience: Boundaries That Help

Finish One Task at a Time

I’ve found it much easier to complete one task before starting another. Sometimes the person I care for asks me to do something while I’m in the middle of something else — either for them or for myself. I have a simple rule: unless it’s an emergency, I always finish what I’m doing first. That way I don’t feel overwhelmed or lose control of my own actions. This one boundary has made a huge difference in preventing that scattered, frantic feeling that feeds burnout.

Make Time for Yourself — And Mean It

As far as burnout prevention goes, I make dedicated time for myself away from the person I care for — and crucially, they understand this is important too. I see my own friends independently, pursue my hobbies, and maintain my work life so that I have mental space separate from our shared life.

Having an identity beyond caring isn’t selfish — it’s what keeps me able to care well.

Remember our opening quote! You need your own oxygen mask working to help anyone else breathe!

Ways Others Can Support Carers

If you know someone you suspect is experiencing carer burnout, offering practical support can make a real difference:

  • Offer specific help: Instead of “let me know if you need anything,” try “I’m going to the shops on Tuesday, what can I pick up for you?”
  • Give time: Offer to sit with their loved one for an hour so they can have a proper break
  • Send comfort: A meal delivery or share a takeaway, sympathy gifts, or care package can provide a moment of relief
  • Check in regularly: A quick text saying “how are you really doing?” without expecting a cheerful answer
  • Validate their feelings: Let them express frustration or exhaustion without judgment

Quick Support Guide for Carers

You don’t need to overhaul your life. These small shifts can help ease the pressure — without adding more to your plate.

Set Boundaries That Protect Your Energy

  • Decide a time to stop doing admin or care planning each day
  • Only take on tasks you have to do — share or delay the rest
  • Practice saying: “I can do X, but not Y this week.”

Build Micro-Moments of Recovery

  • Stretch or walk for a few minutes between tasks
  • Cool water on your wrists + slow breathing = quick reset
  • Write down worries, then close the notebook

Strengthen Your Support Circle

  • Make a list of who can help — family, neighbours, friends
  • Ask for one clear thing: “Can you cook for us for Sunday lunch?”
  • Join a local or online carers’ group — sharing matters

Use Simple Systems to Save Energy

  • Create checklists for routines (yours and theirs)
  • Batch errands and set reminders for key tasks
  • Keep a one-page care summary to share with others in an emergency or to help get more assistance

If You’re Struggling, You’re Not Alone

  • You are allowed to rest. You deserve support.
  • If things feel unmanageable, talk to your GP or a carers’ organisation

And Remember

Care is a relationship, not a job title

Rest is part of care — not a reward

“Good enough today” is good enough

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Photo of Duncan Edwards
Photo of Duncan Edwards

Duncan Edwards

Duncan Edwards manages the Disability Horizons Shop, where he focuses on sourcing practical, well-designed products that improve everyday life for disabled people. His work reflects lived experience rather than distant theory, shaped by family, not policy. His wife Clare, an artist and designer, co-founded Trabasack, best known for its original lap desk bag. After sustaining a spinal injury, Clare became a wheelchair user. That change brought a sharper perspective to her design work and turned personal need into creative drive. Trabasack grew from that focus — making useful, adaptable products that support mobility and independence. Their son Joe lives with Dravet syndrome, a rare and complex form of epilepsy. His condition brings day-to-day challenges that few families encounter, but it has also sharpened Duncan’s eye for what’s truly useful. From feeding aids to communication tools, he knows how the right product can make a small but vital difference. These experiences shape the decisions he makes as shop manager. It’s why he pays close attention to detail, asks hard questions about function and accessibility, and chooses stock with a deep awareness of what people actually need. Duncan’s role in the disability community is grounded, not performative. He doesn’t trade in vague ideals — he deals in things that work, because he’s spent years living with what doesn’t.
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